As many of you are acutely aware, <Dawn> got the Hodir Hard Mode achievement a couple months ago.  What you probably didn't know is that, this week, the item that dropped was completely unexpected. 



Obviously, he didn't want us to see that he was hiding a little girl in his frozen coffer.  The 25 of us immediately suspect him of human trafficking, which is a big no-no.  Eventually, he convinced the raid that she is, in fact, his sister.  And he was hiding her from the Alliance, which mind-raped her in the effort to turn her into the supreme being.  Being sympathetic but not negligent in our responsibilities, we agree to overlook Hodir's deception as long as she can help us finish off the instance.

Sissy Flamecuffs thawed her out during the trash up to Mimiron - but once there, we summoned everyone and buffed up for this evening's main event. 



Everyone knew not to touch the red button.  It says so right on the damn tooltip.  It sure didn't stop that crazy-ass girl-interrupted from pushing the GD button.  The sound of 24 simultaneous facepalms echoed across the room.  Rylai, being the only optimist left in our guild, removes the sandwich from his mouth and says, "we've got this, just don't stand in the fire!"

It's impossible to kill this guy without super badass dips.  And if you know us at all, we're anything but.  I guess everyone was fucking retarded because we humored him and gave it a serious shot.  What could River Tam do to make things worse, anyways?  She already broke the only rule there is to break. 

2½ minutes into the fight, meters are looking good.



Morale is picking up, people have their game faces on.  River eats a [Savory Deviate Delight] and goes apeshit.  That's when you'd never expect to hear Rylai's optimism go off the charts.  "I've crit seven times in a row.  My body is a vessel of pure skill," he said.  He started glowing.  It illuminated the room.



Phase 2 is flawless.  Record time. 

Phase 3 was even better.  The bots were blinded by the essence of Rylai's being.  River killed them in an endless, suave acrobatic dance before they knew what was happening.

Phase 4 - Rylai is now brighter than anything that's ever existed ever.  The raid is mashing all of their buttons as Mimiron uses every gimmick at once.





Rylai dissappeared after that, nobody has seen him since.  Every now and then I think I hear his ventrilo keybind, but there's never any sound.